In our increasingly busy lives, the quest for more time often feels like an uphill battle. We’re told to shave minutes off our commutes, optimize our microwave usage, and fast-forward through commercials, all in a desperate bid to ‘find’ an extra hour in the day. Yet, for many, this approach to time management only deepens the sense of overwhelm, leaving us feeling perpetually behind and constantly searching for a mythical moment of peace. The video above, featuring Laura Vanderkam, brilliantly challenges this conventional wisdom, proposing a radical shift: instead of trying to save time, we should build the lives we want, and then time saves itself.
This isn’t about mere efficiency; it’s about a profound reorientation of our perspective on time and priorities. When we acknowledge that time is not a rigid, unyielding force but rather an elastic resource that expands to accommodate our choices, we unlock immense potential. The issue isn’t a lack of time; it’s often a lack of clarity on what truly matters and the courage to prioritize those elements.
Beyond the Minute-Shaving Mentality: Why Traditional Time Hacks Fall Short
For decades, popular culture has championed the idea of squeezing extra minutes out of every day. From optimizing grocery runs to meticulously planning every second, the underlying assumption is that time is a finite commodity that must be hoarded. However, this approach often fosters a scarcity mindset, making us feel more constrained rather than liberated.
The problem with solely focusing on these micro-efficiencies is that they rarely address the root cause of our perceived time scarcity. Shaving eight minutes off TV commercial viewing to exercise might seem logical, but it sidesteps the larger question: is watching two hours of TV a day truly aligned with our core priorities? This relentless pursuit of tiny time savings can distract us from the fundamental decisions that shape our weeks and months. It also tends to fill the newly “found” time with more busywork or distractions, rather than meaningful pursuits. The focus becomes on *saving* time, not *using* it intentionally.
The Illusion of “No Time”: Time is Elastic, Not Fixed
Laura Vanderkam’s research, including a fascinating time diary project involving “a thousand and one days in the lives of extremely busy women,” reveals a critical insight: time is highly elastic. We cannot literally create more hours in a day, but the time we have will stretch to accommodate what we choose to put into it. The compelling example of the woman whose water heater broke, demanding seven hours of her week, starkly illustrates this point. While she would have likely claimed “no time” for a triathlon or mentoring prior to the emergency, the urgent need created the time.
This anecdote highlights how our perception of time and capacity can dramatically shift under pressure. When faced with a non-negotiable crisis, we find a way to reallocate our schedules, often discovering hidden reserves of time we thought we didn’t possess. This phenomenon isn’t just about emergencies; it’s about realizing that what we deem “urgent” often dictates our schedules, even when our true priorities languish.
The Power of Language: From “I Don’t Have Time” to “It’s Not a Priority”
One of the most impactful shifts proposed in Vanderkam’s work is changing our internal and external language. Instead of passively stating, “I don’t have time to do X, Y, or Z,” a more accurate and empowering statement is, “I don’t do X, Y, or Z because it’s not a priority.” This simple linguistic reframing brings immediate clarity and accountability.
Consider the difference: “I don’t have time to call my mother” feels like a helpless statement, implying external forces are at play. “I don’t call my mother because it’s not a priority right now” is a more truthful, albeit uncomfortable, admission. This doesn’t mean we don’t care about our mothers; it means we are actively choosing other activities over that call at that moment. This shift empowers us to reclaim agency over our schedules, forcing us to confront what truly matters. It makes us active participants in our time allocation rather than passive victims of circumstances.
Unearthing What Truly Matters: A Forward-Looking Approach to Priorities
To treat our priorities like that broken water heater—as non-negotiable demands on our time—we first need to clearly define what those priorities are. Vanderkam suggests two ingenious, forward-looking exercises to help crystallize your most important professional and personal goals:
- The Next Year’s Performance Review (Professional): Imagine it’s the end of next year, and you’re writing your annual performance review for an absolutely amazing year professionally. What three to five significant accomplishments or contributions made it so stellar? By articulating these now, you proactively set the stage for success, moving beyond reactive goal-setting to an intentional vision for your career trajectory.
- The Next Year’s Family Holiday Letter (Personal): Similarly, envision it’s the end of next year, and you’re drafting your family holiday letter. What three to five personal experiences, milestones, or relationships made the year truly amazing for you and your loved ones? This exercise helps you identify and commit to personal goals often pushed aside by daily demands. It reminds us that family, personal growth, and well-being are as crucial as career achievements.
These exercises provide a list of six to ten key goals. The next crucial step is breaking these larger aspirations into smaller, actionable steps. For instance, if a goal is to “write a family history,” initial steps might involve researching other family histories, outlining chapters, or scheduling interviews with relatives. If it’s to “run a 5K,” steps could include signing up for a race, creating a training plan, and dedicating time to prepare.
Strategic Scheduling: Putting Priorities into Your Calendar First
Once priorities are identified and broken down, the real work begins: scheduling them. This means treating them as non-negotiable appointments, just like a plumber fixing a broken water heater. The key is to think through your week *before* you are in it.
A prime time for this strategic planning is Friday afternoons. Economists refer to this as a “low opportunity cost time.” Most individuals aren’t feeling highly productive or engaged in critical tasks on a Friday afternoon; the weekend is almost here, and energy levels might be waning. This makes it an ideal window for thoughtful, long-term planning, rather than immediate task execution.
During this time, create a three-category priority list: career, relationships, and self. Aim for two to three items in each. This simple framework ensures a balanced focus, preventing one area from completely overshadowing the others. Too often, “career” receives the lion’s share of attention, while “relationships” and “self” are neglected. With your priorities clearly laid out, look at the upcoming week and proactively block out time for these items in your calendar. Whether it’s an hour for focused work on a professional goal, a dedicated family dinner, or a scheduled solo walk, these commitments are entered first.
The Abundance of Time: Your 168-Hour Canvas
A common lament is that there simply isn’t enough time. However, a closer look at the numbers often reveals a surprising truth. There are “168 hours in a week.” This figure, derived from 24 hours multiplied by seven days, represents a vast canvas for our lives. Even with a demanding schedule, significant pockets of time remain.
Let’s break it down:
- Full-Time Work (40 hours) + Ample Sleep (8 hours/night = 56 hours): This leaves a remarkable 72 hours for other pursuits. That’s equivalent to three full days!
- Busy Work Week (50 hours) + Sleep: Still leaves 62 hours.
- Intense Work Week (60 hours) + Sleep: Even this demanding schedule leaves 52 hours.
These calculations powerfully demonstrate that a significant amount of discretionary time exists, even for those with demanding careers and family responsibilities. The perceived lack of time often stems from how we *perceive* our work hours. A study comparing self-reported workweeks with actual time diaries found that individuals claiming “75 plus hour workweeks were off by about 25 hours,” typically overestimating their working time. This tendency to overestimate highlights the importance of accurately tracking time to gain a realistic perspective on where our hours actually go.
Harnessing Small Moments for Meaningful Impact
While strategically blocking out large chunks of time for priorities is crucial, the power of small moments should not be underestimated. We often fall into the trap of filling these “bits of time” with distractions like mindlessly scrolling through our phones, checking emails, or engaging in low-value tasks. Instead, these interstitial moments can be leveraged for “bits of joy” or small steps toward our goals.
Consider the daily commute, waiting in line, or short breaks at work. These aren’t just empty spaces to be filled; they are opportunities. A bus ride could be for reading an inspiring book or listening to an educational podcast. A 15-minute work break could be used for meditation, a quick stretch, or planning a healthy meal. If a traditional family dinner is impossible due to a chaotic schedule, perhaps a family breakfast could become a cherished ritual. It’s about consciously integrating meaningful activities into the fabric of your day, making the most of every moment, however brief.
Reclaiming Your Hours: Q&A
What is the main idea for gaining control of my free time?
Instead of trying to save minutes, the main idea is to build the life you want, and your time will naturally align to support it. This approach views time as an elastic resource that expands for what you prioritize.
Why don’t common ‘time-saving’ tips work very well?
Traditional tips often create a scarcity mindset and focus on tiny efficiencies that don’t address what truly matters. They can distract you from making fundamental choices about how you spend your time.
What does it mean that ‘time is elastic’?
‘Time is elastic’ means that while you can’t create more hours, the time you have will stretch to accommodate what you choose to put into it. It highlights that we often find time for urgent matters, showing our capacity to reallocate schedules.
How can I identify my most important priorities?
You can identify priorities by imagining your best year next year: consider what accomplishments would be in your professional performance review and what experiences would be in your family holiday letter. These exercises help reveal your true goals.
When should I plan my week to include my priorities?
It’s suggested to plan your week on Friday afternoons, which is often a ‘low opportunity cost time.’ This allows you to proactively block out time for your key goals in your calendar before the busy week begins.
